4 words: hood of his car
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
