I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
