Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
