Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
