Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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