Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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