Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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