Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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