well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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