Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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