My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
