Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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