that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
