hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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