last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
