A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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