Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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