so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
