Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
