ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
