some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
