HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
