His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
