Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
