I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize