Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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