Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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