the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
