doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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