I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
