i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
