dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
