I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
