You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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