don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
