Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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