this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize