so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
