Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
