PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We got so high we made milksteak
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
