I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
