bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
