She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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