You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
