Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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