Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
