I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont even know how to be here
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
