member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
