3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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