Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
