The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
we're so committed to being not committed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
