be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
