everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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