Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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