theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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