why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
