Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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