I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
