We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
