Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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